Out of Time
by G550
Summary: Takes place shortly after JJ's wedding, after Emily decides to leave the team. When she goes to say goodbye to Hotch, she feels like there's something he's not telling her.
1. Chapter 1

**Let me just say, this is my first, and probably only CM fanfic. I've had this story in my head for awhile. It will be short, maybe only 2 chapters. **

**The normal disclaimer, I don't own Criminal Minds or any of it's characters. **

* * *

Prentiss stood just outside his door, watching him as he studiously worked on his paper work. She had already cleaned out her desk, and said her goodbyes to the rest of the team, saving Hotch for last. She smiled at how oblivious he was to her presence, and finally had to clear her throat to get his attention.

He looked up, and upon seeing her, got up from his seat and came around the desk. True to his nature, there wasn't even really a hint of a smile, not even on her last day.

"Hey." she said simply. " I came up to say goodb...that I was leaving."

He leaned back against the desk and crossed his arms.

"No second thoughts?"

"Lots of them." she laughed. "But I know I'm doing the right thing."

They stood in silence for a few seconds, and it almost made her uncomfortable. Even now he was being one hundred percent professional, and showing no emotion. Knowing Hotch as she did, she should have known better than to expect more, but she didn't know when, or if she would ever see him again.

"Have you already said your goodbyes?"

"Everyone but you."

"What time is your flight?"

"10 am."

Again, the silence. He was staring at her, but it seemed like he was lost in his thoughts. In fact, he was. He was running over his mind how many chances he had to tell her about his feelings, to tell her how beautiful she was. Even now he just wanted to...

"Sir, is there anything wrong?"

"Prentiss," he said softly, finally managing a smile "I'm not your boss anymore. You don't have to call me 'Sir'"

"Ok, but.."

"There's nothing wrong. I just thought...there would be more time."

His voice had trailed off to a point where she wasn't sure that she even heard him right.

"Time?" she questioned. "Time for what?"

She was met with more silence.

"Hotch?"

"Nothing." he covered quickly. "Just more time before you left."

"You do understand why I have to go?"

"I understand that you feel you want to leave. That doesn't make it any easier. " he went on "I hate to lose you. You were one of my best agents."

"Hmm." she smirked. "So you're upset that you're losing an agent."

"No, I'm upset that I'm losing a friend" he smiled back.

He moved forward, catching her off guard, an gave her a hug, holding on for a probably a moment too long. She could swear she heard him let out a sigh before he suddenly pulled away, regaining his composure quickly, and walking back around his desk. He tried not to make direct eye contact, not wanting to give himself away.

"I want you to know, if you need us, the team will always be here for you. All you have to do is call."

"I appreciate that." she responded.

Emily was still confused as to what just happened. She could have sworn there was something he about to say, but in a flash, it was gone and he was back to being SSA Aaron Hotchner. His eyes were already back on his paperwork and he was scribbling down notes.

"Ok then..." she said, backing out the door. "I guess this is goodbye."

"Goodbye Emily." he said glancing up only briefly. "Take care of yourself."

She watched him for a few seconds more, but it was clear he had said all he had to say. She shrugged and turned to walk out, running into Rossi just as she left the room. He noticed the perplexed look on her face.

"Something wrong, Emily?"

"I don't know, I guess not. He just seemed a bit off." she said, using her thumb to gesture back toward Hotch.

"That's just Hotch." he brushed it off. "And he won't admit it, but I think he's going to miss you."

"Maybe..."

"Hey would you like to go have a drink? Maybe get the whole gang together one last time?"

"Ohhh, I don't think so Dave. I've already said goodbyes once, I don't know if I'll be able to leave if I have to go through it again."

"So you're onto my plan?"

"You know, I wouldn't put that past you." she laughed. "But really, its been an emotional day and I really just need to get home and finish packing. I have an AM flight tomorrow."

"Ok well if you change your mind..."

"I'll call you."

Rossi watched her walk away, and then walked to Aaron's doorway, rapping his knuckles on the door frame. Hotch glanced up from his desk.

"So that's it,...Emily's gone?"

"So it appears" he said.

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I don't know what you're getting at."

"Did you talk to her?"

"I said goodbye, wished her well. and I told her this team would always have her back. What else was there to say?"

"Stoic, as always. "

"Dave, is there something you need? I have to finish this case file and maybe get home before midnight."

"The paperwork can wait until morning. Let's go out and have a drink."

"I don't think so. I put in for a couple of days leave, I just want to get it done and get out of here."

Rossi was shocked that he was actually taking a few days off.

"Weekend in New York with Beth?"

Hotch looked up from his paperwork only briefly.

"Beth and I aren't together anymore."

"What? Since when?"

"Since JJ's wedding."

"What happened? And why didn't you tell me?"

"It just didn't work out. Leave it at that. And as for telling you, I didn't know I had to report to you on my personal life." he snapped.

"Aaron I'm not blind - there's something going on here. I don't know what it is, but instead of sitting her throwing yourself into your work, come out with me. Let's have a drink and talk. Or...not talk. Whatever."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Hmmm. Sure ya don't."

Hotch looked back down at his desk, considering the offer. Finally, he tossed the file in his briefcase and reached around and got his suit coat.

"You're right, this can wait. I could use a drink."

[ ************************ ]

Hotch could hear the pounding on his door as clearly as he could hear the pounding in his head. He struggled to a seated position, wondering how he even got home on his couch. He rubbed his eyes, trying to get them to focus. Glancing around, he spied Rossi's business card on the coffee table, and vaguely remembered the many shots he was downing at the bar. He stood up, taking a minute to steady himself before moving to unlock the door.

"I'm coming, Dave." he groaned, assuming it was Rossi at the door. "And stop with the damn knocking!"

He yanked open the door, taking a step back when he realized it was not who he was expecting.

"Emily!" he said, startled. "What are you doing here?"

"Hi Hotch, I...holy cow what happened to you?"

She looked him up and down and couldn't help but laugh. He was wearing his boxers and a half tucked in white t-shirt, his hair going in every direction. His eyes were squinted against the light, and he definitely hadn't shaved.

"Oh I have GOT to get a picture!" she said, raising her phone as if to take a photograph "Garcia will have a field day with this!"

"No!" he shouted, putting his hand in front of his face to block her view. "Just...have a seat. Let me go try and make myself a little more presentable."

Emily put her phone away, sat down on his couch, and watched as he made his way to the bathroom. In all the years she had worked with him, she had never seen him so disheveled. He must have really tied one on. She smiled as she wondered what a drunken Hotch would be like.

Hotch stood in front of the mirror, his hands pressed down on the sink. It was no wonder she laughed at him, he looked like hell. He brushed his teeth, tossed cold water on his face and hair, and threw on a pair of sweats, trying to at least restore some semblance of dignity. He sighed as he glanced at his reflection. When she came to his office the day before, he so wanted to reach out to her, to beg her to stay. But it wouldn't be fair to her now, and he didn't want to chance damaging their friendship.

_Why is she here? And how many times is she going to make me say goodbye..._

By the time he got back out into his living room, Emily had found and made some instant coffee. She offered him a cup, which he gladly accepted. He took a seat back on the couch, gesturing for her to do the same. After a taking a drink, he set the cup down, finally allowing himself to take a good look at her. She was dressed rather casually, probably in preparation for the long flight. She still looked beautiful, and it was all he could do not to take her in his arms and tell her how he felt.

"I thought you had a plane to catch."

"Well, I do but..." she hesitated. "Last night..."

"Don't remind me about last night." he groaned.

"I mean before that, in your office."

He acted confused.

"We said our goodbyes and then you left. Did I miss something?"

"I feel like **I **did." she stood up and started to pace "Before I left, I could have sworn there was something you wanted to say."

"I don't know what you mean." he was lying. "Emily it's been a rough year, and you know I don't want you to leave the team."

"The team..." she parroted, taking a seat again but not making eye contact.

"If I thought that you would stay at the BAU if I asked, I would ask. But I know you well enough to know that your mind is made up." he paused. "Since you're here though, I have to ask...I know it's an excellent career opportunity for you, and I don't want to pry, but I don't understand the urgency. You could have had that job at any time in the last six months. Why the rush to take it now?"

Emily tapped her foot nervously. She knew that she should have left well enough alone. She glanced at her watch, looking for any way to get out of this conversation.

"You know, I thnk I probably better get going..."

"Emily... is there something else going on? Are you in some kind of trouble?"

"No! It's...nothing important, really. I shouldn't have come here at and bothered you at all."

"You're not bothering me..." He reached over, touching her hand reassuringly. She glanced down at their hands, an he immediately pulled back, realizing what he was doing.

"Ok..." she took a deep breath, trying to work up the courage. He wasn't going to let her leave without an answer. "It was Will and JJ's wedding. Seeing them so happy together, it made me realize things about myself."

"Such as?"

"If I stay at the BAU, I'm never going to have what they have. Until then, I don't think I even realized that I wanted it. But if I stay here, it's never going to happen. There's too much standing in my way."

"You think the team is standing in the way of your happiness?"

"Well - not the team, really..."

He nodded, thinking that he understood.

"This job is not really conducive to relationships. I know that better than anybody. I guess I just don't see why you think Interpol will change that. For all intents and purposes, the lifestyle is the same. What's going to be so different there..."

He stopped short. She saw something flash in his eyes. In a matter of an instant, she thought she saw recognition, then sadness, and then it was gone, replaced by the unemotional look she had seen for so many years.

"Easter." he said flatly.

She was taken aback.

"Clyde? What about him?"

Why had he not seen this before? Hotch had always suspected that Clyde Easter wanted Emily for more than just her professional abilities, but he never considered that she would return the sentiment. It angered him. The anger was directed at himself, though, for denying his feelings and letting things get to this point. The way she was looking at him, studying him, he was afraid he was going to give himself away. Not knowing how long he could keep up the facade, he stood up abruptly and walked to the door, expecting her to follow.

"I'm sorry, it's none of my business. Forget I brought it up"

"What's none of your business?" she questioned. "Wait a minute, you mean you think that..."

"Prentiss, you're right, you really should get going, that plane leaves in two hours and it's an international flight..." he gestured towards the door.

_Oh so now it's 'Prentiss" again..._

She stared at him speechless for a few moments. The change in his demeanor was obvious - he was suddenly cool and anxious to get rid of her. This was a mistake. She knew it would be, knew that Rossi was way off base with his late night advice. She grabbed her purse and stood up in swift motion and stood in front of him. She reached for the doorknob, but then her hand dropped to her side.

She glanced up to see him staring at her, his jaw tight, as if he was trying to hold his anger. Even if she were involved with Easter, why would it upset him this much? She didn't want to leave it this way, she couldn't. As much as people always claim they will stay in touch in situations like these, it rarely happens. The chances were good that she would never see him again, never get this chance again. She knew she was going to make a fool of herself, but felt that if she just said it out loud, she could forget about it and move on with her life. It would be closure for her.

"Hotch, about Clyde..."


	2. Chapter 2

"I don't want the details." he said firmly.

"Hotch, you need to let me finish!"

"I said I don't want to hear it!" he snapped.

"Hotch, there's nothing going on between me and Clyde Easter. His only interest in me is as an agent. "

He let out a disgusted sound as if to say _yeah, right_. She started to feel a little defensive - and she didn't like it. Not only was he acting very un-Hotch like, but why was he reacting this way? What did it really matter to him if she _was_ screwing her old boss? Deciding nothing good was going to come of this, she turned and gripped the doorknob, pulling it open slightly. She could feel his eyes on her, and she froze.

Hotch was having an internal battle with himself, still unable to form the words that he so desperately needed to say. Emily was right, of course, when she had indicated there might be some unfinished business between them, but he didn't know where to start. And he was afraid. Her shoulders slumped, as if in disappointment, and she opened the door a bit more. He panicked.

"Wait!..."

"Hotch, don't. Coming here was obviously a mistake."

"It wasn't." he assured her, "Look, Emily, I'm sorry. I don't want our last conversation to be like this. Your relationship with Clyde Easter is none of my business. "

She looked at him incredulously. Still, he didn't get it.

"All right," she said, exasperated " You want to know the reason I'm leaving? Well I'm going to tell you and you're not going to like it." She was wringing her hands, trying to work up the courage. " I told myself for months, no, years, that it wasn't real. That when you're in close proximity with someone for so long, it's only natural to think you have these...feelings. We are in tense, life and death situations on a weekly basis, it's easy to confuse that with something else. At least that's what I tried to make myself believe."

"What are you talking about..."

"You, Aaron," she said,"I'm talking about you. YOU are why I am going. Not the job, not Clyde, but YOU."

"What?" he was in disbelief "You're leaving to get away from me?"

She couldn't even make eye contact with him, knowing that she was probably making a fool of herself, and forever changing their friendship in the process. She scuffed her feet nervously, looking down as she spoke.

"I know it sounds like some sort of crazy school girl crush...it's so cliche, falling in love with your boss. I tried to push it aside, and keep a safe distance. I knew that nothing could ever happen between us, and I was dealing with it pretty well until JJ's wedding. It shouldn't have been a big deal, it was just one dance. But when I was in your arms, so close to you, and it just felt so...

"Amazing."

She looked up at him questioningly.

"You felt that too?

Without realizing it, he had taken hold of her hand as she spoke, and their fingers became intertwined. He was staring at her with piercing eyes and she could feel her heart ready to pound out of her chest.

He leaned down slowly, gently brushing his lips across hers. It was gentle and hesitant at first, but then he felt her respond. Her hands came up to his chest and for just a second, he thought she was pushing him away. But she was just exploring, feeling his body, something she had wanted to do for months. The kiss was so desperate, so intense, he pulled back, breathless, and rested his forehead on hers.

"I've wanted to do that for so long..." he whispered.

She struggled to catch her breath.

"Wh-why did you wait?"

He wasn't thinking about those reasons now, all he could focus on was the words she had just spoken, the look in her eyes, and the fact that she was almost out the door. He reached his free hand up, pushing the door closed behind her. He leaned in again, this time placing soft kisses on the side of her neck.

"Please don't go, " he whispered into her ear "Not yet..."

Emily hesitated. After all this time, was this really happening? Before she could over think it anymore, he was kissing her again. Her purse dropped to the floor and she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer, afraid at any moment he was going to come to his senses and tell her how this was all a big mistake. Those fears disappeared when took her by the hand and guided her towards the couch. He sat down next to her, holding her hand, but his head was down, as if in disappointment. Even now he was holding back.

"Aaron?"

He sighed heavily. She was leaving, walking out of his life, and deserved some sort of explanation.

"I don't know, Emily." he said quietly. "I don't know why I waited. When I first started having these feelings, I tried to fight them, I really did. I came up with so many reasons in my head why it wouldn't work...why it _couldn't_ work. "

"Because we work together..."

He looked up to face her.

"That was part of it, a big part of it. But.. After what happened to Haley, I knew that i just couldn't really get close to anyone again. She was a target because of me, because of the job. I thought if I denied my feelings, I could be around to keep you safe and protect you, but still have you close. And in the end, I couldn't do either of those things."

He was referring to Doyle, of course, and she knew it. He felt that he had failed her, not only by letting her come so close to death, but having to send her away from everyone that loved her.

"What happened with Doyle was not your fault. If anyone is to blame, it was me for not trusting the team more, for not letting you all in. We've been over this."

"We came so close to losing you forever...and then I had to send you away. It tore me apart."

"I didn't know..." she whispered, moving closer to him.

"When you came back, I tried to put up this wall between us. But I should have told you, there's so much i should have told you, Emily. And now we're out of time."

"Not yet we aren't." She put her arms around his neck, forcing him to face her, to look her in the eye. "I'm here now."

So much was going through his mind. Was it even fair to tell her now? Having her so close, her arms around him, felt so good and right that for just a moment, his doubts left him. He moved in closer until their lips were almost touching.

"I love you, Emily Prentiss." his voice was barely above a whisper. "For as long as I can remember now, I've been in love with you."

He heard her sharp intake of breath, and knew that he had taken her by surprise.

Almost feeling a wash of relief now that the words had finally been said, he cupped her face and kissed her more desperately than before. He slipped his tongue between her parted lips, and it all became so much more intense. His hands went under her sweater, pushing it up and over her head. His breath caught in his throat...she was so beautiful. Why had he denied himself this for so long?

He trailed kisses down her neck, her collarbone. Cupping her breast, he took the nipple into his mouth, sucking gently. She was running her hands through his hair, and her soft moans and gasps were driving him crazy. He was taking his time, exploring every inch of her exposed body. Wanting to make this last, he committed every moment to memory, knowing this might be the last time that he saw her, the last time he felt her arms around him.

In one swift motion he took off his shirt and threw it on the floor. Her hands immediately began roaming over his chest, not even hesitating for a moment when she felt his scars. Reaching down, she slipped her fingers inside his waistband and began stroking him with one hand, the other pushing his sweats out of the way. She wanted to feel him, all of him. He groaned his approval, closing his eyes trying to control his emotions. It was all happening so fast, and he briefly considered moving this to the bedroom, but he was afraid of breaking the spell, of ruining the moment. When they were finally free of all clothing, he shifted and covered her naked body with his.

"Are you...sure about this?"

He didn't know if he could take it if she said no, but he had to ask, he didn't want her to regret anything. She responded with an almost imperceptible nod, pulling him down towards her, kissing him fiercely. It was all the confirmation he needed.

He slowly slid inside her, the feeling so amazing that they both sighed audibly. It had never been like this for him before. Whether it was the long build up, or the fact that this might be their only time together, he didn't know, but his body, his heart, all of him felt so consumed that he didn't ever want it to end. He stilled, waiting for her to adjust to his size. He placed kisses on her stomach, working his way back up to her mouth. He couldn't get enough of her.

Her arms were around him, pulling him closer urging him to move and he gently started rocking into her, taking it slow. Every part of his body was tingling. She felt so good, he didn't know how long he was going to be able to hold out. When he stopped for a moment, she whispered into his ear, begging him to move faster, harder. He picked up his pace again, wishing this could go on forever, but he knew she was close. When he heard her moan and call out his name, he couldn't hold back any longer, and he exploded into her with the most intense orgasm he had ever felt.

Neither said a word at first, both trying to catch their breaths, waiting for their heart rates to come down enough to speak. He moved slightly beside her, and began tracing his fingers along the length of her body. Even now, he couldn't keep his hands off of her.

"Wow." she said, finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah. Wow."

There were so many things he wanted to tell her - that it had tortured him to work so close to her all this time and not be able to touch her. That she had helped him through some of the worst times of his life. and that he didn't know how he was going to handle not having her there anymore. But he knew it wouldn't be fair, she had made her decision, and he had to accept it - didn't he?

'I guess you missed your flight." he whispered.

She let out a slight laugh, and he propped himself up on his elbow to look at her quizzically.

"Yeah, about that..." her voice trailed off. "There wasn't any flight to London today. I turned down that job with Interpol."

"What? When?"

"I turned him down. About 2 hours after he offered it. I couldn't bear to be that far away from the team again. Even if I'm not a part of it, you guys are like my family." she started to laugh. "The reason I came here this morning was because Rossi said you were telling anyone that would listen last night that you were going to use your credentials to get me hauled off the plane. He said it was up to me to save your ass before you destroyed your career."

He rubbed his forehead, as if it would help him remember the night before. He scowled as the memory came back to him.

"Dave had a lot to drink, you know you can't trust anything he says."

"Right..." she laughed.

He smiled and shifted his body closer to her, just now realizing how uncomfortable the couch was. As happy as he was in this moment, he knew that he had to ask.

'So if you're not taking the job at Interpol, what are you going to do? Is there a chance you would stay with the BAU?"

"I don't know." she shrugged. "Garcia has held up my resignation in the system, that girl just doesn't give up. But I've also been offered a job at the State Department."

"DC?" he asked, not doing a good job of hiding his excitement. "You mean you might be taking a job in DC?"

"Maybe." she smiled seductively, "But I don't want to talk about any of that right now, I would much rather spend the rest of the day doing something else."

"Oh yeah?" he grinned, reading the look in her eyes. "Like what?"

"I thought you were a better profiler than that." she teased, getting up off the couch and extending her hand.

Still smiling, he took it, and followed her into the bedroom.


End file.
